ONCE UPON A TIME I WAS A WIFE

 it has been a year since the divorce. the memories of the past runs fast and sometimes remains on repeat. I could still hear the dialogues , muttered out lines by lines. the thought of marriage traumatized me. it changed me in so many forms. the idea of marriage haunts me as i reminded how dark and painful it was for me. i could still see myself crying silently, crying for help , and hoping to be understood. I hate that i believe the person i thought i could love forever.it changed the way i look at people. 

Everythin

Rachel Mcadams as a mom was so supportive. She trust and continually give her daughter  opportunities so she could embrace change in seeking comfort and acceptance  naturally in a wholly new environment.

This group of young girl are just so fun to watch. I don't remember growing up talking about body images with my girls at the age of 12. Yet, it is the awakening of mature self consciousness.I take their boldness really positive. The birth of female self-care.

                 Culturally the scene where both of them getting their own pack of pads in a store was relatable. I din't know this happened in the western country too. Thought it was just an asian taboo.I remembered seeing my neighbour getting her pad all wrapped up in a newspaper. Well, the girls portrayed that they are embarrassed and scared if they might get caught or spotted by any familiar faces. Yet, they braced through and laughed as they run out the store with their own pack of pads. 

The parental support and love is my favourite to capture.Learned that, being a parent is you got to always trust and navigate your kid by giving them all the environment and resources they need to grow. Also,always be their person and drop them some senses. 

you know at this pre-teen age you will just try and believe into all things. Which, you laughed about when you are a lot older. 

How i love the power grandma and granddaughter duo. 

ungu

 

 Architecture of love is a film for people who pleasure the rawness of romance. Portraying two individuals who seeks acceptance , calmness and openness in the bustling landscaping city of New York. I simply enjoy every dialogue in the film. It was almost like listening to a self-help podcast. However, I learned that 'ungu' is supposedly not to be sounded like 'UNGGU' and it shall be 'U-NGU'. If you were to go by the simple rule of phonics.lol.However, what stood strong in this film is how both character uplifts themselves by finding each other. Yet, they kept it realistic. As,Raia hurdled  through her days to write  and every bit reminds her of how her RINDU lied to her. While, River is afraid of losing and with that he choose to avoid. It is slow paced, yet warming and romantic in its rawness. 

MOMMA CELEBRATES

 

CONGRATULATIONS ON STRIVING THROUGH MOTHERHOOD.IT HAS BEEN A MIRACULOUSLY REWARDING JOURNEY. Nothing's greater than having the time and energy to  watch , raise and play with my greatest love ; Hud Sulaiman. Being a single parent ain't so bad after all. I feel better. I feel empowered and most importantly I feel secured. I've got to admit that raising a child required a lot of LOVE.As LOVE holds up patience, kindness,trust and respect. There's been a couple of times that I just sat down and weep a little. My cup of coffee last the entire day and gets to drink it when it's cold. I remembered the time , where  I had to hold him tight in my arms so He would stay calm and agreed on to take a shower for 20 minutes .It's a lifechanging learning my physical body could do so much. I can cook , wash dishes and shop with one hand while the other bearing Hud. Rewind back in 2022 , where Hud was just about few months old, I'd bear him and prepared his milk bottle with one hand in the middle of the night. Call Me WONDER FIFI. I am a woman of my own class. WHo fuckin needs a man ? HAHA . I'd only slap a face who told me that I cant be patience nor I need to be patience. PATIENCE IS IN MY BLOOD. 

Dark dwells

  never thought I would do it. never have I thought I would be experiencing it. It weighed in a lot of guilt, I was really angry, I blamed myself and the past few months was just depressing and day and night was just all dark and heavy. Yet, it changed me. It proved me I can be strong. It got me looked back and allow me to change who i was. I was astray. All i ever could was  pray and seek for his mercy. 

Vulnerability

          There are still a lot to more  learn and adapt. Don't rush too easy, Don't quit too just yet.

Living is true,

Undoubtedly, what Yasmin Ahmad pesan was true. That, it takes only you to korek.-Yasmin on usaha.